And Cease the Pain of Your Useless and Pointless Knowledge

It's almost 4am (fake time) and I can't sleep. I can't sleep because there is a pain in my back so huge and so bad that no matter which direction I turn, I am hurting. No matter where I put my right arm, I'm hurting. This situation: not good.
There has to be about eight hundred million little knots in my back that run the length of my right shoulder blade and are as wide as the area from my right shoulder blade to my spine. Does this suck? Yes.
But it's even worse now because between Friday and now, my father, two brothers, mother, and hot lesbian cousin lover all tried massaging me...only they don't really know what they're doing. So now I'm in muscle pain and nerve pain. Actually, I take that back. My youngest brother kept hitting my back with his fist, so maybe that's why it's hurting even more now.
I don't know; I just want it to go away. And to sleep.

*need I even mention who the title is accredited to?