My Goodness!

Even before the vote is all tallied (few more days left, all of yous...get those votes in), I have a few things to say.

1. Randy, I know you voted twice because you FILLED IN THE SAME RESPONSES TWICE TOO! Geez, I know your opinion of women is not the highest, but really, we aren't as dumb as you think.


2. Steve, I know this, "I love you so much that I wish I gave birth to you so I can call you my offspring...and then rub peanut butter on you" was you. Sicko!


3. I think it's really nice that Helen from Philosophy Club thinks I'm adorable and someone I don't even know loves me "so so much" because that really makes me feel special!


4. Zahava, your response to my question about peanut buttery bliss is completely factually inaccurate.

   "My fondest memory of peanut butter was: I borrowed this amazing creamy hazel nut peanut butter for the Pirutins kys. Then I wrote down to buy a new one on the glorious Friedman family shopping list. When my dad came home from the store he unpacked a lowfat nebech Skippy. Replacing the pinnacle of life indulgance with a pathetic immitation? Horrors. Yet I called it my fondest memory, I guess this explains why I'm obsessed with learning about the Holocaust. I think I'll stop writing now."

   Doll, love of my life, cookie-baby-face, it was a creamy Honey-Roasted-Skippy-Peanut-Butter that your dad tried replacing with a low-fat nebech Peter Pan. (Yes, peanut butter means so much to me that I can recall all these details with clear precision.) But it's okay because my mother taught me a life lesson after that incident: if you want a man to do something, you have to explain to him what you want--just telling will not accomplish the desired effect.
   And that, "pinnacle of life indulgance" was great!


5. You, "once when I was stuck in the Planters peanut factory, I shmeared peanut butter all over a goat and sent it running through the monkey cages in the factory. Why the planters factory has monkey cages is beyond me," did not follow instructions because Planters doesn't make peanut butter. They make peanuts. But you get points for creativity :).


6. And as for you, "me and Dina were in my room one Shabbos and before we took our lil nap we had our weekly shabbos binge. This time we took out the peanut butter and beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep. Then we woke up to hear havdolah," I totally want to know what was going on over there!


7. To all those of you who skipped the questions that I gave you in order to indulge your creative sides, well, all I have to say is that I hope your lovers don't mind your boringnesses because you are CLEARLY no fun in bed. And you--you who voted "oy..." to every single quote and then neglected to answer the bottom questions--well, I deleted your vote because you suck. So take that!

And to all of you: your grammar sucks. I mean, really, I know it's only the Internet, but it takes one, ONE, more key stroke to capitalize your I's!

P.S. For those of you from Madagascar, Micronesia, Palestine, Canada, Israel, and "I think Brooklyn is its own country," thanks for stopping by!