Heroes in a Half Shell--Turtle Power!

Recently (yesterday), I found myself thinking about Splinter. Do you realize just how cool he was? I mean, think about it. Not only did he never get proper credit for having trained some of the greatest heroes we've ever had here in New York City, he put up with all the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle's shenanigans and still maintained a calm, very demure appearance.

Splinter's amazing.

Another thing I was thinking about recently (okay, just now when I looked this up), is how strange the Ninja Turtles' theme song was. It sounds like a camp cheer in that they're constantly trying to prove their coolness. Personally, I think the Ninja Turtles were serious coolness. They didn't need to convince me. But just look at this: They're the world's most fearsome fighting team (We're really hip!). What? If you're the world's most fearsome fighting team (which the Ninja Turtles were, mind you) you don't have to convince me that you're hip. I would either figure it or not really care. The line after that one is: Splinter taught them to be ninja teens (He's a radical rat!). Yes. He clearly is a "radical rat." How, you wonder, do I know? Because he's trained the most fearsome fighting team in the world! That's right--in the world!

And also, nowerdays, I most sympathize with April O'Neil because she was the only female in a group of friends and it just happens to be that I hang out with more guys than girls. But when I was younger, Irma was always my concern. Remember Irma? Thought so. She was April's sidekick with non-descript features. Wikipedia describes her as "A Channel 6 TV associate and April's best friend. Irma is interested in men. Voiced by Jennifer Darling." Irma is interested in men? I'm not sure if this is meant to reassure us that she is, or to fill up space.

Yeah, and also (then I promise I'll stop), once my family went to family friends for a Shabbos when I was very, very, very young. I think I was about 4 or 5. The boy who was a year older than I was and I got along very well. On Friday afternoon, while playing, he gave me two action figures that were foot soldiers from the Ninja Turtles. I thought we were going to get married. Then, a number of weeks later, my mother threw them out because the feet were chewed up and I'm pretty sure I haven't seen him since.

Turtle power!