Thursday, June 14, 2007

Ice Cream Soup

So get this--I don't do poetry. But I'm taking this poetry course hoping that I'll break out of that and find a hidden ability buried deep in my writing skills. No such luck so far, but I did write this for class and I like it. Have a great Shabbos.

late afternoon
on a breezy May day
mommy and me
the house to ourselves
at my feet--my open knapsack
leftover potato chip crumbs
oiling the bottom
shiny tile floor
and light wallpaper
this is my white and pink house
my 932 East 28th Street
between I and J
this is my mother,
her funny round belly
surrounding my new baby.
we sit at the kitchen table
mommy and me
she smiles
I smile back
between spoonfuls of cookies 'n cream
she asks, "How was your day?
What did you learn?"
and takes a sip
of her afternoon coffee
I say, "Blah, blah, blah"
and take another gulp
of what is fast becoming
ice cream soup
my mother tightens her lips,
opens her eyes,
moves her face in close--
and like a small animal sensing a stampede,
I know a tickle attack is coming.
closing my eyes and squirming in my seat
I laugh before her wiggling fingers get to me
this is my mommy and me
this is a cookie bit
in my vanilla cream life.

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4 original thoughts out there

Anonymous MonseyGuy said...

You've got one or two decent metaphors/images going, but overall, this is a prose writer trying desperately to create poetry. Don't force it, D.

Sunday, June 17, 2007 12:21:00 AM  
Anonymous mir said...

Remember when I was amazed at that poem you wrote for our 8th grade yearbook? I thought you were the most talented 8th grade poet I had ever met.

Sunday, June 17, 2007 10:19:00 AM  
Anonymous D said...

Did you prefer Seeing the 100% Perfect Girl One Beautiful April Morning or Lederhosen?

Sunday, June 17, 2007 8:54:00 PM  
Blogger BrownsvilleGirl said...

I was the most talented 8th grade poet ever. My sister brought the poem in and showed it to Mrs. Berley and even she thought it was great.

Monday, June 18, 2007 10:40:00 AM  

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