Monday, December 19, 2005

How to Lose Weight Without Trying Or How to Lose Weight Without the Help of Willpower

Losing weight isn't an easy task for those who cannot control themselves. I know, because I've tried it. That is why my new diet "How to Lose Weight Without Trying Or How to Lose Weight Without the Help of Willpower" is so necessary. Like, say you have to lose five pounds for your friends' wedding but crave high calorie meals--with my method there's no need to worry, you'll lose weight in no time.

How the Diet Works
Prepare yourself a high calorie meal with something self-destructive in it. For example, if you like smoothies made of coffee, peanut butter, ice cream, milk, and hot cocoa mix, leave the spoon in the blender before blending the ingredients! This way, when your smoothie is ready for consumption, it won't be edible. (Please note that both plastic and metal spoons work fine.)
Follow this method for all foods and you'll be starving in no time.

Have a good day!

9 original thoughts out there

Blogger Adam Murray said...

*shakes head in both equal parts awe and disbelief*
Unless i'm not very observant, you don't need to love any weight, you look great.
then again, thats from photo's, you could be hideous in real life.
but from where I'm sitting you look great, don't sweat all this diet crap.

Monday, December 19, 2005 1:56:00 PM  
Blogger BrownsvilleGirl said...

Haha--it's a joke, really. For some reason, I just ALWAYS end up leaving the spoons in the blender. :)

Monday, December 19, 2005 2:24:00 PM  
Blogger Elster said...

You could ask someone to spit in your food. That would keep ME from eating it.

Monday, December 19, 2005 5:39:00 PM  
Blogger Sherbert said...

something about this post is just so wrong....

qixtvux

Monday, December 19, 2005 6:28:00 PM  
Anonymous brown eyed girl said...

i don't know... i'm a big fan of the taste of plastic. it's my only other explaination for why i always chew on straws and plactic forks and spoons. i do not accept this "oral fixation" explaination. :-)

really, i don't do it so much anymore.

Monday, December 19, 2005 7:01:00 PM  
Blogger XVI (R) - NY said...

Hey brown eyed girl... I chew on plastic stuff too! you ever chew on the back of your cheap Bic pen and then have the ink thingy explode while your chewing on it? And then the ink gets in your mouth and on your face and everyone calls you "stinky inky" and you go home and cry every night? And they call you that every day all through elementary school and you pretend like it doesnt bother you but it really does? And the pain and hatred grows inside of you like a hate-child, growing in your belly? And you act like a normal person but really you just wish everyone would die? And you cant leave the house ever for fear that someone from elementary school will be out there and he/she will call you "stinky inky" and youll cry again? So instead you just sit at home on the computer all day playing video games and commenting on peoples blogs and wondering how things went so wrong, never knowing how or when the hate-child is gonna burst forth in a spray of rage and hatred? No?... good... me neither...

Monday, December 19, 2005 9:31:00 PM  
Blogger nyc pink fashionista said...

I'm not sure if thats a good idea. Leaving a spoon in the blender can damage the appliance.

Monday, December 19, 2005 10:49:00 PM  
Blogger MC Aryeh said...

Another way would be to faicfnikp...ruin fewer spoons that way...

Tuesday, December 20, 2005 7:48:00 AM  
Blogger Drew_Kaplan said...

I'm with Adam Murray on this one.

Saturday, December 31, 2005 9:42:00 PM  

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