Friday, May 20, 2005

Peonies, Penes, and Pratfalls

I have a problem. There is a flower shop on the corner of 69th and Lexington with some of the most beautiful arrangements around. Usually, when I walk past the window of this shop, my pace slows, my attention is drawn to the flowers, and I find myself having a shtickle out-of-body experience.
On Wednesday, I decided that the time to actually step in had come and I did so. I started walking around and noticed the most amazing flower ever. With bajillions of petals, this flower reminded me of the ones we'd make out of tissue paper back in 1st grade. It was soft and white. It was huge and round. It was amazing.
"Excuse me," I said to the lady in the store. "What kind of flowers are these?"
"Peonies."
Peonies. Pronounced pee-neez. I always thought it was pronounced pee-oh-neez. I was wrong. Peonies is one of the plural forms of penis. There's penises and there's penes. This flower that is just the essence of exquision is called many penis. I felt like crying.

7 original thoughts out there

Anonymous Anonymous said...

yeah i bet the vaginas flower wouldnt look nearly as nice. ha, GUY POWER!!

-flashed

Friday, May 20, 2005 12:00:00 PM  
Anonymous V.Ko said...

Rebel and prounounce it your away anyway...who cares about those flower-educated flower shop people ;o)

Friday, May 20, 2005 12:09:00 PM  
Blogger BrownsvilleGirl said...

Nice v., nice!

(But I left out the part that I was going to ask for an application to work there up until I made my bad impression. :))

Friday, May 20, 2005 1:57:00 PM  
Anonymous merv the perv said...

Dina, why can't you admit that penis is the new boobs?

I mean, it has dominated our discourse for the several weeks now without any sign of abating. Also, it's evidently the only thing on your mind as made apparent by this post ;-)

It's axiomatic that the phallus is the new king (is a crown even necessary?). So step aside Nancy Kerrigan & Tonya Harding because King Richard is in town!

Saturday, May 21, 2005 9:25:00 PM  
Blogger BrownsvilleGirl said...

Alright, alright! Penis, penis, penis, penis!

Sunday, May 22, 2005 12:23:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

woohoo, take tht u vaginas!!

ure good for one thing and one thing alone - ok i wont go down tht road the sake of shalom bayit at hillel

but dont worry dina, ure cool enough to be an honorary man, would u accept the title??

-flashed

Sunday, May 22, 2005 1:19:00 AM  
Blogger BrownsvilleGirl said...

Eeeeeeew!

It's not man v. woman, this is just about a fixation with either genital. Girls are way better than guys. So horrible. I'd never wanna be a guy!

Sunday, May 22, 2005 2:02:00 AM  

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