Moshiach Sent Me an E-Mail
And the award for most random e-mail I've ever received goes to Moshiak!
[Please be aware that the following is not an endorsement.]
Date: Sat, 26 Nov 2005 06:08:05 -0500
From: moshiak @ moshiak.com
To: onceuponavanillalatte @ yahoo.com
Subject: I am the Moshiach.
I am the Moshiach. My website is www.moshiak.com.
Sincerely,
Moshiak
Thank you, Moshiak. Thank you for the moment you gave me when I just sat staring at my computer in confusion, then amusement, then, well, confusion. :) It was awesome.
[Please be aware that the following is not an endorsement.]
Date: Sat, 26 Nov 2005 06:08:05 -0500
From: moshiak @ moshiak.com
To: onceuponavanillalatte @ yahoo.com
Subject: I am the Moshiach.
I am the Moshiach. My website is www.moshiak.com.
Sincerely,
Moshiak
Thank you, Moshiak. Thank you for the moment you gave me when I just sat staring at my computer in confusion, then amusement, then, well, confusion. :) It was awesome.
posted by BrownsvilleGirl at 1:28 AM
It's my goal to teach people; it's not my goal to confuse people. What about my website confuses you?
Moshiak
...And why didn't you post your question on my website? Please do that this time.
Moshiak
Noooo, no, no, no, Moshiak, it wasn't your site that confused me. It was your e-mail. Just I was confused getting an e-mail "I am the Meshiach" because I have a friend who thinks he's Moshiach and, well, you get it.
:)
Well, you're friend can't prove that he's the Moshiach. I can. My website is www.moshiach.com. You should check it out. Not everyone under the sun is full of shit, you know. You should have a little bit more faith in man. In this world of idiots and fools, some of us are actually intelligent and wise. Again, if you have any questions regarding my website or my book, feel free to post them or to email me directly, and I will be happy to address them. =)
I'm sorry. My website is www.moshiak.com. I always get the two confused. The only reason that I call myself "Moshiak" is that I am trying to appeal to the gentiles who would pronounce "moshiach" "mO-she-Atch." It's enough that people would pronounce it "mO-she-ahk." It's supposed to be "muh-shE-ahk." Anyway, take care, and please refrain from negatively advertising a book that you haven't even read by stating explicitly that you don't endorse it.
i am a gentile and i can verify that i pronounce your name as "wîr'dō."
A weirdo is someone who is different in a bad way. I am different, but not in a bad way. Is there a word for normal in a bad way? Mediocre. That's how I pronounce "goytoy." By the way, if you're trying to hook up with this Jewish girl by calling yourself "goytoy," you're going to have to try a little bit harder than that. Jewish girls have high standards.
I explicitly state that I don't endorse your site because by posting it, it can be assumed that I do. Therefore, I am not making a statement that I don't endorse your site, but rather that the endorsement that would be assumed by this post is nullified as I have not read your book and therefore cannot give an educated opinion.
As for you being the Moshiach, I'm pretty sure that the downfall of the others (such as Bar Kochvah) was when they acted cock-sure about being the chosen one. Y'know...
And as for goytoy, he's not trying to "hook up with" this "Jewish girl." He's just a friend who likes to think up different names every time he comments.
Oh, sure. The fact that you italicize "not" in "the following is not an endorsement" surely means that you have a neutral position. By the way, I do NOT eat at McDonald's.
As for the past claimants to Moshiach, I'm pretty sure that whether or not they were "cock sure" of themselves had nothing to do with it. I'm pretty sure that their downfall came from the fact that they just weren't the real Moshiach. And what is the real Moshiach? The one who discovers the final theory of everything and communicates that to the people. No, I am not humble. But I am also not arrogant. Humility and arrogance is a false altertive, and both are equally bad. As for PR, the best way to change the world is to be totally honest with people. So if I really am the Moshiach, I don't want to say "Ya know, there's sort of a chance that I'm the Moshiach. Will you pretty please read my book at www.moshiak.com?"
Too bad you don't live in Southern California because then I would try to hook up with you instead of your "friend" goytoy.
Ummm i spell my name mesiach so im totally cool with this mosiach trying to act all ummm powerfully. I read the manifesto its interesting to say the least. But unfortunately no mention of the O. Now, to trully understand the meaning of life you need an O in your life be it male female gay straight don't matter as long as you have an O. (or at least having experinced an O) And i dont think i am the mosiach (however you want to spell it) but i have the power to become the M O.
Let me guess. You were dropped as a baby and your parents never told you.
And from Wikipedia (which I hope is right, because I don't have time to collect all these requirements myself)--the requirements for Moshiach:
The Sanhedrin will be re-established (Isaiah 1:26)
Once he is King, leaders of other nations will look to him for guidance. (Isaiah 2:4)
The whole world will worship the One God of Israel (Isaiah 2:17)
He will be descended from David HaMelech (Isaiah 11:1) via Solomon (1 Chron. 22:8-10)
The Moshiach will be a man of this world, an observant Jew with “fear of God” (Isaiah 11:2)
Evil and tyranny will not be able to stand before his leadership (Isaiah 11:4)
Knowledge of God will fill the world (Isaiah 11:9)
He will include and attract all cultures and nations (Isaiah 11:10)
Jews will have returned to their homeland (Isaiah 11:12)
He will swallow up death forever (Isaiah 25:8)
There will be no more hunger or illness, and death will cease (Isaiah 25:8)
All of the dead will rise again (Isaiah 26:19)
The Jewish people will experience eternal joy and gladness (Isaiah 51:11)
He will be a messenger of peace (Isaiah 52:7)
Nations will end up recognizing the wrongs they did Israel (Isaiah 52:13-53:5)
For My House shall be called a house of prayer for all the nations (Isaiah 56:3-7)
The peoples of the world will turn to the Jews for spiritual guidance (Zechariah 8:23)
The ruined cities of Israel will be restored (Ezekiel 16:55)
Weapons of war will be destroyed (Ezekiel 39:9)
The Temple will be rebuilt (Ezekiel 40) resuming many of the suspended mitzvos
He will then perfect the entire world to serve God together, as it is written (Zephaniah 3:9)
Jews will know the Torah without Study (Jeremiah 31:33)
He will give you all the desires of your heart (Psalms 37:4)
He will take the barren land and make it abundant & fruitful (Isaiah 51:3, Amos 9:13-15, Ezekiel 36:29-30, Isaiah 11:6-9)
Which means that if you want to be Moshiach, and bring the world into Dor shel Moshiach, you have got a LOT of work ahead of you. And I suggest that you begin by training yourself to hold back personal attacks on people you don't know based on quick judgements you make of them. But then again what do I know...I'm just another regular Jewish girl.
enough of this sinut chinum...you will all be thoroughly repremanded...
Personal attacks on people I don't know? Sort of like attacks on books that you haven't even read? I don't attack people; I teach people; but only if they are willing to learn. If you want to learn the meaning of your life--which you should--you should visit my website, read the words on the website, and ask me questions if you have any, because I will be happy to answer them.
By the way, the definition of Moshiach is controversial, but it boils down the the man who discovers the meaning of life and communicates that knowledge to the people. Now the trick is to get people to listen to what I have to say. If people don't read the Moshiach's book, then the Moshiach can not exist.
Take care.
Moshiak
Sweetkins, I didn't pass judgement on your book at any point in this dialogue (?). I simply said that it exists and that I can't support it because I haven't read it.
And asking Mesiach if he was dropped is a personal attack. Telling Goytoy that he doesn't stand a chance is a personal attack.
As for who the Mashiach is, I believe that you have to bring us into the Dor Mashiach and then you will be called the Mashiach.
Love how you called moshiak sweetkins...he probably doen't get that too often...
How did this wackjob find you? looks like you found yourself another stalker and they get crazier as they come.
and steve, you're still my favorite mosiach out there.
Wow, i am very overwhelmed by this whole thing. Miryam, I am with u you, "what the heck?" I hope "mehshiakh" isn't personally offended by my doubts. I believe Moshiach can come at any time, but I also beleive that he will not curse or use other negative language in his dedicated mission.
In general, if any1 wants to spread good in the world I'm all for it, but I'm with Dina on the whole failed messiah trend in Jewish History (although R' Akiva believed bar Kochva was the true Meshiach)but anways...
I'm just excited that this is my first time writing on the blog!! This is usper cool, Dina, I am cool haha
Moshiak writes: Not everyone under the sun is full of shit, you know.
True. Just some are full of shit. You're one of them, mack.
If you're going on this crusade to garner some attention to your life, then that's pretty pathetic. And if you do think you are here to rescue us displaced Jews, bring us back to the Holy Land, wage war against the enemies of the land, emerge victorious from Gog vs. Magog and can claim lineage to David...then I'd like to see it.
Until then, I suggest you see a therapist. We Hebrews know a lot of good ones.
And it's Moshiach, you bastard.
Chriantian Guan: for lack of brains, all you have is braun. You can kick the shit out of me? Maybe. Maybe not. Anyone on the internet can say that he's a big bad man who can kick the shit out of people. But you know what? It doesn't make you more manly.
Sweetie pies, my personal attacks were in response to personal attacks. If people applied your logic to the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, then...oh wait, that's right, people DO apply your logic to the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. My mistake.
Aaron. You haven't even read my book, so you don't know whether or not I'm legitimate. Oh, and if you'd like to see me save the Jews and restore Jerusalem, you should start by reading my book, don't you think? And I know that the generic word is spelled "Moshiach"; it's just that my name is spelled "Moshiak." That's why I say "I am the Moshiach" and not "I am the Moshiak." Got that, Mack?
Moshiak
As for the latest comment by the man who appears to be a rabbi, I'm not done with the book. Or did you get that far in my book to the point where I say I'm not done with it? No, you probably didn't. You probably gave it a good two minute skim. It's philosophy, Mr. Rabbi, not legalese. You don't skim philosophy. Try again, and this time, wait until I'm not with the book and the lectures. Thanks.
Moshiak
That's "wait until I'm done with the book." Thanks again.
Dina, check your e-mail.
I don't censor comments.
Furthermore, I'd like to remind you of two little passages from Pirke Avot--that text we have to remind us how to have derech emet.
Ben Zoma said: Who is wise? One who learns from everyone. As it is said: From all who taught me have I gained understanding, when your testimonies were my meditation. (Tehillim 119:99)
Who is mighty? One who subdues his primal urges. As it is said: One who is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and one who rules his spirit than one who conquers a city. (Mishlei 16:32)
And now I have something to add. Right now I am posting comment 26. That would make this my highest commented post. The bulk of the people who read my blog don't comment. So, do you realize how many people have read this? Or how many people might?
You had a wonderful opportunity here to make a kiddush HaShem, or to spread ahava. But instead, it was squandered with silliness and stupidity. Not to sound like Bob Saget at the end of Full House, but I'm really disappointed. No matter whether you might become the Moshiach at some point or not, you have to be a Jew above everything else and your first obligation is to make a Kiddush HaShem--not just to gentiles, but to Jews as well.
I'm sadly disappointed.
See what happens... I go away for two stinkin' days and an e-holy war erupts. Oy vey
I'm not sure what you're saying. I'm not familiar with all of those words and phrases. But I guess you are saying that you are sadly disappointment with me because I didn't contain my anger? What? First, anger is an emotion that isn't necessarily bad. For example, if somebody wants to kill you, it's okay to get angry. But if you get angry for the wrong reason, then it's bad. To be honest, I never felt that emotion during this exchange. I know that you're "sadly disappointed," but all I can do is INFER why because nothing that you say makes much sense to me. I infer that you are "sadly disappointed" that I didn't humble myself and allow other people--including you--assault my character and my book. You would have preferred that I act more like a punching bag. I see. Well, that's one thing that I will never be in this lifetime. You have a lot to learn, Dina. You are trying to be like Bob Saget at the end of Full House, but Bob Saget was dealing with a bunch of girls who bickered senselessly amongst themselves; he was not dealing with the Moshiach on the one end, and a bunch of jealous and confused boys on the other. Your moral equivocation would disappoint me if it weren't ubiquitous. But you are a 20 year old young lady who has a lot to learn, and one of the things that you need to learn is the meaning of your life. Once you acquire that knowledge, I will be happy to hear from you. Until then, take care. I have a lot of work to do.
Moshiak
www.moshiak.com
Sorry, that's "moral equivalence," not "moral equivocation." It means that you're pretending that there is no right and wrong. It's the product of nihilism, which derives from ignorance of the meaning of life. I explain it in the lectures.
Take care.
We want Moshiach...Now
Moshiak, I noticed that you wrote that long essay and published it but didn't write your name on it. Dude, that is a little strange...and suspicous. If you try to make an argument and don't feel it neccessary to attach your name to it it doesn't exactly inspire confidence in your sincerity or wisdom.
Moshiak, I'm going to suggest that if you don't know what I was talking about you should spend your time studying Pirkei Avot (Ethics of our Fathers), Tehillim (Psalms), and Mishlei (Proverbs).
I wrote Derech Emet, but I meant Derech Eretz...how to act/decency.
Ben Zoma was a very wise man who is quoted in Pirkei Avot (Ethics of our Fathers).
A kiddush HaShem is when you do something that brings glory to Gd. For example, you might do something very noble and then others say, "wow, did you see what he did? Those Jews are so nice." Or something along those lines.
Ahava is love.
I wasn't asking you to "turn the other cheek," that's a very Christian concept.
You didn't use your anger for something positive.
You're really only supposed to use anger for Torah. For example, Shimshon (Samson) saw that the people were sinning very heavily and allowed himself to be angry and his anger caused him to pull the supports for the building down and everyone was killed. Even his action is not fully praised.
Furthermore, humbleness is when you recognize your strengths and also recognize that they come from Gd. When you can do that, then you're humble because I can go on forever but frankly, my fingers are getting numb.
Good night.
"I wasn't asking you to 'turn the other cheek,' that's a very Christian concept."
i never said turn the other cheeck!
i am guessing that the mosiach had to figure out what he was going to bring for show 'n' tell tomorrow... or is tuesday arts and crafts?
Girl, didn't you remember what I said about anger? Do you realize that you don't retain what people say? You look at it, and then you forget it. Same with Aaron. Same with all of you. You people scare me because you're more intelligent than average, and I'm trying to appeal to the average man. Dina, I don't care about those books. I don't care about those words. What I inferred about your motives remains true. Show love? Show acts of decency? You think you're teaching me something? What is decent about assuming that I'm full of shit? Love isn't necessarily good. Anger isn't necessarily bad. And I told you that I didn't feel anger. Do you remember that, Dina? Do you remember those words? You're not teaching me anything. When it comes to the meaning of life, and the ethics from which that derives, I am so above all of you it's laughable. And no, I will not humble myself. Do you remember when I said that humility and arrogance are equally bad, and that I am neither? Remember my words, Dina. Girl, if there are any words that you will retain in your head for more than five seconds, let them be these: do yourself a favor and read the front page of my website. Then read it over again. Eventually, there will come a point where the words inspire you to read the book, which you will also have to review and think about for a good period of time: maybe months, but it's worth it. After you're done with the book, and you have learned the nature of the universe and the nature of the mind, you can proceed to the lectures, which will also take you months to comprehend. The whole thing will take you at least a year. Sweetie pies, I am dead serious. I can not be any more honest with a human being than I am with you right now. You need to get over yourself, and you need to read my book. You're arrogance, your blog, your philosophy...everything about you I already understand. You think you're original? You're just another nihilist...just like Aaron, just like everyone else who reads your website. You can't teach me anything about the meaning of life or ethics, but you can sure stand to learn a lot from me. No one else will be as honest with you as I am right now; not your mother, and certainly none of these "friends" of yours. Just look at the website, sweetie. You're life will be much better off if you do. And if you have a thousand questions, feel free to contact me privately by e-mail or publicly by forum. Don't listen to your ketchup "friend" with regard to what he thinks about my book; he hasn't read my book. I don't care if you love me or hate me; just take me seriously for once.
Moshiak
this whole thing is absurd- and frankly im quite bored so i would appreciate if a new blog entry would be up by the time i go to work tom- thanks a gzillion
Sarah, hopefully Dina's attention span is larger than yours. You have half my intelligence and wisdom. You have nothing to offer. I am trying to encourage a confused young lady to learn the meaning of her life. If you don't like this blog, get your own blog.
That's my opinion of your "friend" Sara.
Wait a minute, maybe 'Sarah' is your mother. Anyway, who cares? That's my opinion of Sara.
Wait a minute. Sara does have her own blog. Anyway, who cares? That's my opinion of Sara.
Okay, that's it. I hope I've inspired you to read my website. The only reason that I've spent so much time with you is because if there is any chance that I think you're intelligent and beautiful, and you'd probably make a good wife and mother. I love women who cook, and who want to have children. A Jewish women who looks forward to having children, and naming one of the "Mashiach"? I love it. Besides that, you are attractive and intelligent. 20 year old with her own blog with all of that knowledge of Torah? I love that, too. It doesn't matter to me that you live on the other side of the country. When it comes to meeting the person with whom you spend the rest of your life, they could be on the other side of the planet as long as they wind up sleeping in the same bed. I may very well have scared you away from me, and the whole thing may be impractical but who knows? Contact me for any reason. And take care, Dina.
Moshiak
www.moshiak.com
In the second sentence, nix "if there is any chance that." ...Darn typos.
Nukes! I get like 60-something hits a day. And no, they're not all me because I block my own IP. :)
I loooooove the new name nukes. And Dina, um, if you don't feel safe you can stay with me.
"I get like 60-something hits a day."
ya, that is all me.
no one liked my arts and craft joke? I spent like so much time on that.
Wow fifty comments...uhm Mazel Tov?
If Moshiach weren't surrounded by idiots, then everyone would be Moshiach. of course I'm surrounded by idiots. Of course it'll take a while for the idiots to remove the proverbial head from the proverbial ass. Of course I will severely underestimated. That's what idiots do. Intelligent people realize that they want to know the meaning of life. Untelligent people don't even know that much. You know what I think? I think the Jews will perish because they're too stupid to know a Messiah when they see one. You know what the mannerism of the Messiah is? The mannerism of the Messiah is that he tells the truth. Honesty. That is the mannerism of the Messiah. Sure, idiots consider it "harassment" at first, but eventually the truth prevails. This is a forum of children, and I am the adult that dropped in. The children don't like it when the adult tries to interfere with their play. But eventually, the children grow up.
Moshiak
Kudos BVG, this thread has shattered every known standard of unintentional comedy ever created. In fact on a scale of 1 to 10, this thread is a 55. Amazing. I am printing this out and I am going to read it whenever I get depressed.
I'm actually giggling as i write this.
BVG, Elster may be on to something...perhaps you should sell access to this post for the low price of $29.99....
So I did just laugh out loud at your comments, Elster and MCAryeh! :)
Oh my God, what a joke. You're right. You are just a regular Jewish girl. You have no concept of the meaning of life, and why it is important. I'm out of here.
I hate to be a Jonny-come-Lately (Yoni-come-lately?) but I wanted to say this guy is OBVIOUSLY not Melekh ha-Moshiach. Nor, for that matter was Menachem Mendel Schneerson, nor was Shabsie Tsvi, and nor was that nice Jewish boy who got stapled to a lower case 'T' 2000 years ago.
But that last guy (the one with the staples and the lower case 'T' just mentioned) was a precursor to Moshiach. You see, people claimed he was Moshiach, and then painted him, therefore telling us that if a guy today looks like the guy in the painting, that guy might be Moshiach.
And that's why I've concluded that the Israeli actor Oded Fehr is Moshiach. Here's the proof:
http://oopi.us/pictures/prayer-to-odedfehr-jesus.jpg
Yechi Adonenu, Borenu, Elohenu, Melekh ha-Moshiach...
WE WANT MOSHIACH NOW!