On Away Messages and Their Usefulness

I have approximately 87,093,442,780 screennames. Of them, I'm generally online on four at a time. People have asked me, "Why do you have so many screennames?" Some adding, "You're very weird." And I tell them, "I do it for the people. Why should I deprive you the opportunity of deciding which screenname of mine to chat on? It's for democratic purposes."

But that's a lie.

That's a big lie.

I actually use that many screennames because then I can put up even more away messages. What's the big deal about away messages, anyway? Allow me to tell.

I don't keep either a diary or journal. However, I can go back into my away message archive and look over away messages of yore that show me pieces of what was going on in my life way back, well, yore. Which is also why I liked my Quote of the Days...they defined my stages. But now QOTD is out of control and I don't know how I feel about it. But anyway, moving along.

Here are a few very old away messages and why they're important to me now.

If I didn't have this away message, I probably wouldn't remember how much fun we had on our 11th grade Shabbaton* in Lakewood when we heard the street name "Squankem." I probably wouldn't remember how much fun I used to have making e-mail addresses, screennames, and (now) blog names for friends:

I go and make my friend a perfectly legitimate email address and what do i [sic] get as a thanks? 'it's funny, but too crazy for me as an email.' the nerve of Brooklyn people! They're so conservative! Where's their creativity and gall? damn them... [so feel free to fwd your junkmail to SquankemIfUrHappy@yahoo.com]

When Brownsville Girl died:

I regret to inform you of the passing on of the greatest pet I ever had:
Brownsville Girl
June 2003-January 2005

This next one is pretty funny. I had to censor it because, well, it's still true!

When I visited Riqi at Sternberg, I stepped into my bunkhouse from Juniors. I went to the bed that had been mine and checked the board above it to see if what I wrote there the summer I was 12 was still there, and sure enough it said 'Dina loves _____.'

I have even more crushes than screennames because unlike screennames that can be retired, I tend to get a crush on a guy and then...have the crush for forever (see above). Which is why aways like this next one help remind me that I've always been like this:

Miryam said that we're eighteen, I'm allowed to have a crush. And considering that this time the guy's neither engaged nor seeing someone, I'd say I've matured a bit.

Aaah yes, that psychic stalker that time:

To those who made fun of me when I said the psychic who stalked me's prediction would come true within two months beware. Today I got a fortune cookie that said "two important decisions shall be made by you soon." Now, be honest with me, is that what fortune cookies say nowadays? noooooooo they say things like "one of your greatest assets is your inner beauty." or "Happiness can be found inside." and stupid crapanola like that, they never actually give fortunes anymore. Think about it -- what are the chances that someone actually geeeets a fortune in the cookies and that it matches a reading from a psychic, just not as detailedy. Just think about it...

Prof! We called him Prof! (Update: I've never seen him at Hunter.):

My French teacher could not do math: I found an old test and on top was a 48 - crossed out, 51 - crossed out, 50 - crossed out, and then a plain 51. Right, so I may not know French, but he's a teacher! He should know stuff...omg, I just realized that he is the French professor at Hunter. Not that I'll be taking French or anything, but if I see him in the halls? freaky. But I guess I can rely on his not recognizing me, I have changed quite a bit since 10th grade...

Evidence that I've always loved QOTD's:

On Harry Potter
"but what does it really have, like 872 pages?"
"um, actually, i think it's like 871."
"what??? i just gave that number off the top of my head -- i made it up. whoa, go check."
"k, i'm checking...wow, there're 870..."
"how did I know that?"
"i must say, you're like a malach."

Evidence that I've always asked the people around me what to eat:

pea soup or smoothie?

Um...more evidence...that I always get freebies at coffee shops!

Today I experienced one of the perks of being a woman. I went to Starbuck's on my way to the bus and I ordered a tall skim latte. When the guy was making it, I asked if he could just pour it into a bigger cup 'cause I was taking it onto a bus. Instead he just gave me a bigger cup, asked if I wanted an extra shot of espresso, and then gave it to me with a "here you go, sweetheart."

Look, I've always had this same sense of humor!

"'Dear Mr. Earl, my father is an earl and you're an Earl; I'm an Orlando and you live in Orlando — let's go into business.' They were very posh, very stylized, with a beautiful signature and calligraphy, and they went right into the bin." - Mr. Earl, founder of Hard Rock Cafe, on the letters he recieved from Orlando Sandwich

This next is special for Nedenah who made fun of me for liking The One (still one of the best love songs ever):

"In the instant that you love someone, in the second that the hammer hits, reality runs up your spine and the pieces finally fit. And all I ever needed was the one... Like freedom fields where wild horses run, when stars collide like you and I, no shadows block the sun. You're all I've ever needed -- Baby you're the one."

Possibly my favorite old away:

What the critics have to say about: "The Tush Dina Got At the Gym"[starring: Dina's Derrier, director: Crosstrainer, screenwriter: Gd]
"whoa, it's almost as big as mine!"-Riqi for Tuch-ass Maven
"oh my Gd, you were serious. I see it!"-Chaya for Rotund Rears
"*****"-a guy for Guys Who Like Big Butts and Cannot Lie
"You finally joined the ranks as a girl from our school"-Miryam for Other Girls With No Tushes

Hehehe:

"who else has friends who flash strangers at the gym?"

More QOTD's:

"...of course, he phrased it so much better, I just can't think of it now."
"Well of course he phrased it better - he's a writer."
"Um, doll, so am I."
[clears throat] "Right. But he wrote a book, you wrote one essay this year - and it was b/c it was for the AP."
"I wrote a book!"
"One page of it!"
"Shut up."

And lastly, evidence that I have ALWAYS been a dork:

I love Yahoo's mail cause whenever I sign in they say "Welcome, Dina!" with a big exclamation mark there and it always makes me so happy.

Okay, so this is a shtickle irrelevant, but I had this saved with my aways... "BEWARE!!! dina bina is slowly taking over the world like pinky-dinky and the brain-shmane. slowly she is infiltrating her language into innocent peoples (like me) everyday talko-balko- and then she moves on to bigger and better things like their dreams and goals. Check out dina's away message for further research." (This was Sara's away once.)