Sunday, January 29, 2006

Pus Sounds Like Cuss

My dream just sort of ended before I even got to taste the crepe I was making and I tried to open my eyes to see the time. The keyword in that last sentence would be “tried.” I couldn’t actually accomplish this simple task of opening my eyes because my eyelashes were glued together by something that I assumed to be pus. After yanking open my left eye, I stumbled to the bathroom.
My left eye was coated with goopy pus and my right eye was covered with it. And of course since this had to happen on the one night I sleep in make-up (Friday night), it took me forever to clean my eyes up.
Theory number one was that the mucus lining my throat and stuffing my nose was bored with being confined to just my nose and mouth and, thinking of new ways to leave my body, attempted to ooze out of my eyes. Theory number one was shot down by my mother with a simple, “Dina, you have conjunctivitis.”
To properly understand what this means now, I will give you a crash course in the past plagues I’ve received since leaving Israel, Ir haKodesh. First, I was stricken with Sore Throat--a case of Sore Throat so bad that until the doctor took a throat culture and confirmed that it was negative, I thought I had strep. This was followed by a Nasal Congestion which has yet to go away despite the fact that there are other plagues now as well. Other plagues such as the Plantar Wart on my thumb and the hives I got on my arm. This is a novelty, by the way, as I’ve never before gotten hives in all my life.
When I mentioned all this to my friend in medical school, he suggested that it’s possible I’m having an allergic reaction to something. The hives and the excessive amounts of mucus trying to get out of my every facial orifice are an almost clear sign that my body’s rejecting something. The only thing I can figure (other than plane food, because that’s not still a factor in my environment) is the environment. So, in what’s becoming my new sign off...anyone want to buy me a ticket back?

7 original thoughts out there

Blogger LDiablo said...

Methinks that kind of matter that was in your eye is spelled differently. Try, "pus" as the puss you speak of tends to be a shortened form of pussy, which could mean a cat or, well, another thing.

You get a 10 on the ryhming. Dead on.

Sunday, January 29, 2006 2:27:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

u may be having symptoms of meat deprivation, i think its time to return to the right path.

-bored yeshiva buchor

Sunday, January 29, 2006 7:42:00 AM  
Blogger XVI (R) - NY said...

Id regularly say to have a big bowl of chicken soup, being the firm believer that I am in the awesome supernatural healing powers of that avian broth. You however, are not of the flesh-eating persuasion... What if they are free-range?

Im telling you... it works. And Im not just saying that as a Galizianer.

Sunday, January 29, 2006 1:33:00 PM  
Blogger Baal Teshuva Benny said...

Wierd...I guess it must be pink eye season...xysmnts

Sunday, January 29, 2006 1:50:00 PM  
Blogger BrownsvilleGirl said...

I don't eat chicken period.

Sunday, January 29, 2006 8:00:00 PM  
Blogger Baal Teshuva Benny said...

OH yeah...well pus has only one 's' in it...:)

Sunday, January 29, 2006 10:10:00 PM  
Blogger BrownsvilleGirl said...

Thank you! You're right!

Sunday, January 29, 2006 10:27:00 PM  

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