Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Today I was Sent Back to the Shtetl

I was standing on line waiting for my food and talking to Miryam. A woman from my shul walked near us and we smiled and said hi.
"Hi!" She said and then turned to me. "It's so funny to bump into you now; I was just thinking about you yesterday!"
I smiled politely.
"Why was I thinking about you? Why was I thinking about you? What was it...? Oh yes! I have a boy for you! How old are you?"
"See? I knew that you're young. I was telling my kids that you're younger but they thought that you're older, but I knew that you weren't. So you're 21? That's great. He's 22. He's a bit of a red head. And would you go out with someone who's learning while they're in college?"
"Uh, yeah, I--"
"Great! So he's doing that now and his name is [generic Jewish guy's name] and I'm not sure what he plans on doing, but I think he needs someone who's more funky. I think you're more funky like that, you know what I mean, not your typical Monsey girl. I think that's it...why don't you give me your number and then I can call you with more--"
"Thank you so much for thinking of me," I said, "but I just started seeing someone."
"But thank you, it was really sweet."
So the relentless woman responded, "Well...why don't I just give you my number then and you can get back to me if it doesn't work out?"
And with that, we concluded the first conversation she and I had ever had.

8 original thoughts out there

Blogger The Nucular Jew said...

It was a trap! Your current male companion wants to see if you'd cheat on him! Only instead of sending a half-naked Chipendale's dancer, he send an old woman with a shidduch!!!

-See Coupling for the trap reference

Wednesday, July 12, 2006 12:13:00 AM  
Anonymous Monsey Guy said...

You're seeing someone!??

Why don't you just rip my heart right out of my ribcage with your bare hands and throw it on the floor and stomp on it till I die?!

Seriously - this is Monsey, and I'm glad there's at least one person who's still put off by it.

When I was around your age, I was getting a ride to a wedding with a friend of my parents, and they were also driving a neighbor of theirs, *whom I had never met before in my life.*

The first think she said to me was, "My daughter has a friend who's looking for a tall boy. You're tall."

At least she didn't call me funky.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006 12:29:00 PM  
Blogger The Nucular Jew said...

Looking for a tall boy? You sure that wasn't Dina?! :-P

Wednesday, July 12, 2006 12:44:00 PM  
Blogger BrownsvilleGirl said...

Okay, Nukes, we have to watch the trap episode because I don't know what you're referring to.

Also, I wasn't put off by her, I really thought it was thoughtful that she took the time out of her day and thought of me. So many ppl are too busy thinking about themselves to give anyone else a second and I thought she was sweet. She doesn't know much about me other than my family and that I sit in front of her on the yomim noraim, but still. :)
I just posted this because I thought it was funny. She was really talking like a stereotypical shadchan.

How'd your date go with the girl looking for a tall boy? :)

Wednesday, July 12, 2006 2:58:00 PM  
Anonymous Monsey Guy said...

I married her ;)

No - I didn't. I looked the woman straight in the eye and said, "I appreciate the offer, but my Rosh Yeshiva said I couldn't date any more girls until I completed the rage management outpatient program at Rockland Psychiatric..."

And in addition - I admire your response to the story, but I'm far more cynical. The woman wasn't being sweet - she was being a yenta. To presume that she knows you well enough to suggest a LIFE PARTNER for you is absurd and insulting.

It's not as though you told her what you were looking for. It's not as though she's spoken to your parents and friends and teachers and coworkers and shul mates (although that's not unlikely, either). The idea that someone who knows you on the most peripheral and superficial level could start yentering into your life makes my skin crawl.

But call me if things don't work out ;)

Thursday, July 13, 2006 9:56:00 AM  
Blogger BrownsvilleGirl said...

I still disagree with you, Monsey Guy. I don't generally think that people are motivated by a need for gossip, or what ever it is that we think yentes are motivated by. Sometimes, y'know, it takes the person who doesn't really know you to set you up with the right person because they don't have personal feelings mixed in, they aren't too close to you that they outweigh who you are with how they see you, etc. But it's true that she has no idea what I'm looking for or even interested in. At least that lady who wanted to set you up with that girl knew that the girl wanted a tall boy. :)

Thursday, July 13, 2006 5:57:00 PM  
Anonymous monsey guy said...

She knew that the girl wanted a tall boy, I'll grant you that, but she had no idea what *I* wanted. She'd never seen me before, and her first thought was setting me up. I don't see that as altruism or chesed - I see it as invasive and presumptuous.

I should probably work on judging people more favorably, right?

Friday, July 14, 2006 10:48:00 AM  
Blogger nyc pink fashionista said...

Monsey Guy, I understand how you feel. I've had my fair share of Chinese yentas trying to "match" me with someone. At the same time, Dina is right that it would be good to have a broader prespective on why people do certain things. Maybe it was this particular person way of being helpful, though a bit invasive.

Dina, what happend to you reminded of something that happened to me in Chinatown a few weeks ago. I was minding my own business and this old lady that i know was asking me about boys. She knew someone that was trying to find a girl for their godson.

The word she used for me was quirky though. What can i say, you're "funky" and I'm "quirky".

Monday, July 17, 2006 7:37:00 PM  

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