I Need a Personal Assistant

I have a lot of work to do, so I will tell you all the things I would have my personal assistant/slave do for me. I'd have her do my laundry complete with folding and putting my clothes back where they belong in my closet. I wouldn't make her get me coffee because I happen to like taking breaks from work to walk to Starbucks, but I would have her put my stuff away after I'm done. For example, she could put the hair things I use away after I'm done because as far as I can tell, I use them at night and in the morning, so why should I put them away? But if I had a personal assistant, it would be her job to do things for me, so why not keep my bedroom floor clean? Let's see...she could be my fashion consultant so that I wouldn't have to try on and go through an average of four outfits a morning. She would be in charge of my gym bag which means that she'd have to make sure it always has my sneakers and fresh workout clothes so that I wouldn't have to start looking around for all the things I need at the last minute when I'm rushing out of my house. She'd keep a calendar of all my events and papers and remind me approximately every ten minutes about what I have coming up for that week so that I could remember. Of course, my mother already does that, but I wouldn't mind when the assistant would because it would be her job. She could also drive me to work and school so that I could take that time to do my studying. And for days when I just want to drive alone because I need to think, she'll have a scooter. It wouldn't be all bad either, because I'd give her off while I'm at work. She'd have to be there while I'm in class, though, because sometimes I need someone to keep me busy or awake. I can't think of anything else right off the top of my head, so I'll have to put more thought into this before I write up a job description.