Thursday, November 16, 2006

Now Start Looking!

While bored in class the other day, I realized* that if I marry someone whose last name begins with an "O," my initials will be DO, or do. Because that is just plain ol' awesome, I beseech everyone to find me men whose last names begin with O so that I can systematically date them and choose the best. Thank you.

*The way I realized was by writing out my initials with every letter in the Alphabet and seeing which looks best. DMV is also pretty cool, but it has horrible connotations. DMX is awesome but the Jewish X is too difficult to find. dmb looks cute, as does dmq. If I drop my first name, I can be mw which doesn't look half as awesome in this font as it does in my handwriting, but the only person who calls me by my middle name is Michael, so I couldn't marry someone else and then just use my middle name. Well, that's all.

9 original thoughts out there

Anonymous Anonymous said...

You really need to stop thinking about this like Galut Jew, and consider what your initials might be in Hebrew. Right now, it's just "דמפ", which means absolutely nothing, and if you married someone whose name started with O, it would probably be "דמא", which also means nothing. But let's you married someone with a last name that started with, oh, just randomly pulling a letter out of a hat here, yod. Then you could be "דמי", "my blood," "מי", "who" or, most fittingly of all, "די", "enough." Because really, how is that not enough?

--You know very well who.

Thursday, November 16, 2006 11:11:00 AM  
Blogger BrownsvilleGirl said...

Bias! Bias! Bias! (Chant to the tune of "Tell us! Tell us! Tell us!") :)

On the other hand, my verification is: ubqdpqy

Thursday, November 16, 2006 12:21:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bias? BIAS? If it's biased to look out for your best interests and make sure you have a truly cool name, then I guess I'm more biased than the LAPD.

But since it's widely acknowledged that I have a much more keenly refined sense of what constitutes cool, it would behoove you believe me when I tell you that Hebrew initials which, in all their permutations, make up nifty words are much cooler than a basic English verb or the name of a washed-up, untalented rapper.

And how do we happen to know that I may be trusted in matters of coolness? Let's just say my name in gematria is 101, and your true Hebrew non-slave name is 100, which makes me one cooler. And while both your names add up to a grand total of 169, I believe we can safely add a certain significant number to my gematria to arrive at 198. So there, or as they say in Wordverificationese, tkubqqlh.

Thursday, November 16, 2006 12:47:00 PM  
Blogger The Nucular Jew said...

Alternatively, you could take on another middle name, say, Aliza. Then you'll be DAMV. Then, you marry a Jew with a last name beginning in N, oh, I don't know, Newcombe? Then, your initials will be DAMN.

And that's all I've got to say.

Thursday, November 16, 2006 2:06:00 PM  
Blogger BrownsvilleGirl said...

If I add an Esther after Dina and an Ora after Michal and marry you, I can be DEMON. I'll think about it, but I can't give you more than that.

Thursday, November 16, 2006 7:04:00 PM  
Blogger Adam Murray said...

Alternate plan:

I convert, you change your first name to Helen, we get hitched and like magic your initials become HMM


Thursday, November 16, 2006 10:46:00 PM  
Blogger BrownsvilleGirl said...

First name: 69
Second name: 100
Last name: 535
In total: 704

Anonymous person, you may have one upped me on the numbers, but my numbers are cooler than yours. 100? That's perfection! 535? A palindrome! Etc.

And as for HMM...hmmm, I'll have to think about that. And then I'll go think about how I just made the corniest joke I have ever made.

But then, if I marry everyone I have can loooots of initials... :)

Friday, November 17, 2006 12:25:00 AM  
Blogger Adam Murray said...

Bearded Harem for the win!!

Friday, November 17, 2006 3:08:00 AM  
Blogger Adam Murray said...

One more and I'll stop.

As before, I covert, we stomp on the old wine glass and you use your Middle name making your initials...


also: ayxcqgfq sounds like something a crazy hobo would say. awesomeness

Friday, November 17, 2006 9:30:00 PM  

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