I'll Eat
Last night, a friend of mine posed the question, "if you could be fat with a pretty face or hot with an ugly face, which would you choose?"
"Hot with an ugly face, duh," I said.
This kind of question reminds me of one my father used to ask me when I was very young. He'd say, "would you rather marry a fat, rich man or a good-lookingly thin poor man?"*
And always, my answer would be, "the rich fat man who can always lose weight. And even if he can't lose weight, he's rich."**
Lest you start thinking I'm shallow, allow me to explain. One who is rich (provided that his parents didn't just hand money to him) became that way through various possible factors. Rich could mean he's smart, business-savvy, capable, or other things. One who is good-lookingly thin spends time to look good. That is all the information I was given and it tells me nothing. Therefore, all I know for certain is that the fat guy has some attractive traits. Mr. Good-looking might be a boorish man and I don't know. So, I go with certainty.
Likewise, the phrase, "a fat but pretty girl" tells me nothing about the girl's character. The phrase, "an ugly girl with a hot body" tells me nothing either. But at least I'd be hot.
I was thinking about this because last night, when Mir and I got to our friend Ariella's engagement party, it was 9:30 and practically none of the food on the women's side had been touched. The better for us, of course, cause we were hungry. I had a sliver of a chocolate mocha cake, a bite-size strawberry, vanilla, and chocolate cake, some hot blueberry pie (eh), and lots and lots and lots of hot apple pie (whoa!). And of course I had more food the rest of the night--that was only trip one to the really nice food table.
While Mir and I were looking at the really good-looking foods and discussing which we'd have (Mir and I use one plate and two forks at a time because we're married), a woman came up to us to take a picture. I felt compelled to hide my plate behind Miryam's back because it was empty. I didn't want to look like a fatso.
After spreading the word that anyone not trying the hot apple pie was a fool, I saw some of my friends having some. But for the most part, I ate the most at the party. Except maybe Shira, but she gets most of the food around her mouth or on her hands, so she only gets points for effort.
So I love food and that's that.
*Why did I not put a comma between "good-lookingly thin" and "poor" but I did between "fat" and "rich?" Please note that this is not a bonus question, this is serious. Was I supposed to put a comma there? I feel like it doesn't belong and everyone knows the comma rule is when in doubt--take it out!
**And now I'm leaving out a comma that rightfully belongs between the "rich" and "fat" of the sentence!!! My grammar is kaput! I don't even know what to do! Man, if I were home, I'd be looking through at least one of my four grammar books... (That's right, I said four grammar books proudly.)
"Hot with an ugly face, duh," I said.
This kind of question reminds me of one my father used to ask me when I was very young. He'd say, "would you rather marry a fat, rich man or a good-lookingly thin poor man?"*
And always, my answer would be, "the rich fat man who can always lose weight. And even if he can't lose weight, he's rich."**
Lest you start thinking I'm shallow, allow me to explain. One who is rich (provided that his parents didn't just hand money to him) became that way through various possible factors. Rich could mean he's smart, business-savvy, capable, or other things. One who is good-lookingly thin spends time to look good. That is all the information I was given and it tells me nothing. Therefore, all I know for certain is that the fat guy has some attractive traits. Mr. Good-looking might be a boorish man and I don't know. So, I go with certainty.
Likewise, the phrase, "a fat but pretty girl" tells me nothing about the girl's character. The phrase, "an ugly girl with a hot body" tells me nothing either. But at least I'd be hot.
I was thinking about this because last night, when Mir and I got to our friend Ariella's engagement party, it was 9:30 and practically none of the food on the women's side had been touched. The better for us, of course, cause we were hungry. I had a sliver of a chocolate mocha cake, a bite-size strawberry, vanilla, and chocolate cake, some hot blueberry pie (eh), and lots and lots and lots of hot apple pie (whoa!). And of course I had more food the rest of the night--that was only trip one to the really nice food table.
While Mir and I were looking at the really good-looking foods and discussing which we'd have (Mir and I use one plate and two forks at a time because we're married), a woman came up to us to take a picture. I felt compelled to hide my plate behind Miryam's back because it was empty. I didn't want to look like a fatso.
After spreading the word that anyone not trying the hot apple pie was a fool, I saw some of my friends having some. But for the most part, I ate the most at the party. Except maybe Shira, but she gets most of the food around her mouth or on her hands, so she only gets points for effort.
So I love food and that's that.
*Why did I not put a comma between "good-lookingly thin" and "poor" but I did between "fat" and "rich?" Please note that this is not a bonus question, this is serious. Was I supposed to put a comma there? I feel like it doesn't belong and everyone knows the comma rule is when in doubt--take it out!
**And now I'm leaving out a comma that rightfully belongs between the "rich" and "fat" of the sentence!!! My grammar is kaput! I don't even know what to do! Man, if I were home, I'd be looking through at least one of my four grammar books... (That's right, I said four grammar books proudly.)
posted by BrownsvilleGirl at 6:06 PM
