Calm! I'm Calm! I'm Always Calm!

The guy who works at the garage came around to the driver's side to give me my ticket.
"I'll be here around 5:30," I said.
"Okay...what's your name?"
"Dina."
"Are you always calm like this? You're always so calm."
I smiled.
"Well, it's the morning...calm's the best way to start your day."
He laughed and got into my car as I walked outside to buy a coffee.

What Can I Say?

Sometimes, you get a song stuck in your head. You sing it walking down the street. You sing it when you're alone. You even find yourself singing it when other songs are playing on the radio. A sad situation, yes, but not as sad as when you get just a line or two of a song stuck in your head. Then it's "you told me good-bye, how was I to know you didn't mean good-bye, you meant please don't let me go? I was having a high time, living the good life" all day long. Even more unfortunate, if you can stand to hear this, is when you get a word stuck in your head. Over and over the word twirls around your mind dancing with different meanings that you're not sure but think it could possibly work with. Then it settles on your tongue and you find yourself mouthing the word 3600 times an hour.
The last time I was afflicted with single word lodging was when I was doing a two-hour drive home from New Jersey. Gubernatorial somehow popped into my brain and I couldn't figure out what it meant. The more I mouthed it the more I realized how poppy and exciting it was to say. Gubernatorial stuck. Luckily, that was only a two hour affair--something I can't say about today's word.
Today's word was Schlumberger. Schlumberger Limited, the oilfield service company. You see, one Friday about a month ago, I traded some Schlumberger. That night my grandfather mentioned the company. Only, he pronounced the French owned and operated company "Schlumber-jhay," a far-cry from my American-sounding pronunciation: Schlumberger. And so all today whenever I had a free moment to think or wonder or daydream, all my brain would produce was, "Schlumberger, Schlumber-jhay, Schlumber-jhay? Schlumber-jhay...Schlumberger!" Etc.
It's been a long day.

From the Desk of Dina M. P., Secret Assistant to the Regional Manager, Dunder-Mifflin--Scranton Branch

I'm going to say a few more things and you're going to hear me out because that's why you read my blog.
1. For an entire year I worked at an offive where I was the only female in a group of 50 Russian alpha males. Sometimes funny things happened. Sometimes awkward things happened. Sometimes ridiculous things happened. But I didn't write a single post about the place because I was always afraid that one day I'd apply for a job and they'd tell me I'm not wanted because I blog about my offive. And so, I'm informing the public that I want to be appreciated for something I did not do and look forward to being rewarded at some point in the future.
2. It's 11:38 and I'm shocked that I'm still awake...which more or less rhymes. Eight, awake. Like I said, more or less.
3. Today I wasted a stupid amount of time walking to the wrong side of the building that hosts one of the only kosher cafes in the area where I work only to find out that I had to enter the building on another street. When I went inside I was informed that the kitchen was running late and that they didn't know if that meant 30 minutes or an hour, so I left. All that combined took about 20 minutes of my lunch because I was in the mood to wear heels today and walking to the middle of a street, continuing around so that you can go to the middle of the next street, walking through that building that is located in the middle of the middle of those two streets, and then walking back from the wrong entrance to where you came from takes a long time in spiky heels.
4. A while back I made a new banner which you can see if you click here. When I tried pasting it into the html for this page, it didn't work. I don't know why it didn't work. The image, as you can plainly see, is available at the link I put in and since the image I removed was actually removed, I clearly knew where to paste the url. At first I was disappointed in the missing banner, but now I realized I can check my blog from work and not have people far and wide seeing what site I'm on. Not that I've actually checked it more than once this week. I get lazy like that.

I Fainted

On Friday, I had a syncopal episode at Starbucks and made a clear 90* fall backwards from where I was standing onto the floor. They called 911 and first a policeman came and then an FDNY EMT came and then the paramedics came. It was the most dramatic experience of my life. When I came to, I told the barista who was hitting my cheeks that I was nauseated and she kept saying, "she's nauseous" so that someone would get a bag and I kept thinking, "I said nauseated." Anyway, the paramedics strapped me into a rolling chair thing and brought me out to the ambulance where I wasn't doing much better. In the ambulance, I couldn't stop shaking so they covered me with a blanket and because I was still nauseated and dizzy, they put an oxygen mask on. By the time we got to the hospital, I was wheeled in on a stretcher with an oxygen mask while shaking uncontrollably. Did I mention it was the most dramatic experience of my life? We went to Beth Israel and when the nurse in the emergency room asked if I had ever been a patient there, I said, "I think I was born here." He replied, "Oh, maybe you'll get a discount." It took four tries for the nurse to get a clear EKG because I couldn't stop shaking and she was trying not to get frustrated with me. It was nice. When she was done, I was starting to get better so I called my mother but she didn't pick up. I called my father and left a voicemail. Then I tried my mother again. She answered and said, "What's the emergency--I'm at the dentist?" I didn't know that while she was there she missed five calls and had a voicemail that kept beeping, so I said, "I'm at the hospital." She said, "you win." All the tests came back fine and I didn't have time before Shabbos for a CT Scan but I probably suffered a minor concussion and that's why I didn't come back from lunch break.

Gettin' and Jettin'

This not working thing is making my brain soft. Last week I lost my wallet. Yesterday I was running late and stressing out about my piano lesson. Today I couldn't find my keys which were already in my bag the whole time. And in addition to all this, I keep buying clothing. I don't know how the unemployed do it, but if I don't start working again soon my brain is going to rot.