Rainy Day Adventures Vol. 2

This morning I had one of those rare moments when you do something so embarrassing you can't help but not be embarrassed. Don't look at me like you don't know what I'm talking about because you definitely do. In a move to trump stepping straight out of my shoe last week when it was rainy, I stepped directly on someone else's shoe--not someone else's foot--someone else's shoes. You see, after putting my coffee down on the counter, I tried explaining to the woman that I was also going to get a water, a sports bottle, a sport water, a water, she wasn't getting it. So I left my coffee on the counter and just went to get the water. When I came back, I placed my water on the counter (which was now crowded by two other people) and my foot on something squishy.
"That's my shoe," the man next to me said.
I looked down and sure enough, there was his flip-flop in all its lonesome glory and his naked foot hovering somewhere between 5 and 6 inches above it. With a look of wide-eyed alarm, I stared at him not knowing what to do or say. Why wasn't his shoe on? Did he see my foot inching closer and immediately slide out of his shoe to avoid my stomp? Did he slide out of his shoe because it was too wet to hold his foot like I had done only a week ago? Did he take his foot out of his flip-flop to scratch his other leg with his toes? The questions were just burning inside of me. And then my mouth opened and an overly apologetic, urgently pleading voice came out a tad too loud shouting, "I'm so sorry. SO, SO sorry!"
When I realized how exaggerated my reaction was and how calmly he just looked at me, we both started laughing and he told me it was fine.
I think I should rename the blog Rainy Day Adventures with Dina.

I Fainted

On Friday, I had a syncopal episode at Starbucks and made a clear 90* fall backwards from where I was standing onto the floor. They called 911 and first a policeman came and then an FDNY EMT came and then the paramedics came. It was the most dramatic experience of my life. When I came to, I told the barista who was hitting my cheeks that I was nauseated and she kept saying, "she's nauseous" so that someone would get a bag and I kept thinking, "I said nauseated." Anyway, the paramedics strapped me into a rolling chair thing and brought me out to the ambulance where I wasn't doing much better. In the ambulance, I couldn't stop shaking so they covered me with a blanket and because I was still nauseated and dizzy, they put an oxygen mask on. By the time we got to the hospital, I was wheeled in on a stretcher with an oxygen mask while shaking uncontrollably. Did I mention it was the most dramatic experience of my life? We went to Beth Israel and when the nurse in the emergency room asked if I had ever been a patient there, I said, "I think I was born here." He replied, "Oh, maybe you'll get a discount." It took four tries for the nurse to get a clear EKG because I couldn't stop shaking and she was trying not to get frustrated with me. It was nice. When she was done, I was starting to get better so I called my mother but she didn't pick up. I called my father and left a voicemail. Then I tried my mother again. She answered and said, "What's the emergency--I'm at the dentist?" I didn't know that while she was there she missed five calls and had a voicemail that kept beeping, so I said, "I'm at the hospital." She said, "you win." All the tests came back fine and I didn't have time before Shabbos for a CT Scan but I probably suffered a minor concussion and that's why I didn't come back from lunch break.

Blur Blur Blur

I thought the conversation I had with the guy at the tire place was interesting. It went like this.
"Wow, does that say 100,000 miles???"
"Uh, yeah."
"100,000 miles. That's crazy. A car this age should have an average of 32,000 miles."
"Oh, wow."
"Where do you take this thing? Is it mostly local driving?"
"Lots of commuting."
Then I went to the gym and pretty much ruined someone's day with my awkwardness. After putting some weights back on the rack, I was walking along the mirrors when I noticed some guy was talking to me. I turned my music off.
"What?"
"Blur blur blur reserves blur blur?"
"What, sorry?"
"Blur blur blur reserves?"
I took one of my earphones out. "Sorry?"
"Are you a reserves?"
"Am I what?"
"The Israeli Army, are blur blur reserves?"
Smile. "What? I'm sorry, what?"
"Your shirt. Are you a reserves?"
I looked down at my IDF tee-shirt.
"Oh, no, haha. Just a fan."
"Did you get the shirt blur blur?"
"Did I--what was that?"
"The shirt. Did you just blur blur the army blur get it?"
"Um, what?"
"Did you have to get that in Israel?"
"Yup. I got it in Israel."
"So you just went to blur blur get it blur?"
At that point, I just gave up.
"Yups!" I said, smiled, and walked away.

Remember When I Believed in Diplomacy?

I passed a certain particular dean today who avoided catching my eyes for as long as he could. I kept looking at him and when we passed each other he was forced to look at me and nod. Amazing how in a school of 20,000 students, I'm the one the dean tries to avoid. In other news, I'm just awesome at creating awkward situations for people everywhere!